Gratitude

I’ve been trying for as long as I can remember to do the ‘Positive Aspects’ bit of ‘Ask and it is Given’, but I never ever do it. Oh, I got the pretty notebook and I started writing in it, but I only did it once.

It’s no secret that I’ve been feeling a bit shitty recently. My last post here was about a week before my dad went into hospital and since then…well this is a positive, gratitude-related post so we won’t go there. But now it’s time that I started filling up my positivity tank again, and as I’m pretty certain that even my journal’s prettiness won’t get me to write anything in it (my eczema is so bloody sore that my fingertips are cracking, making typing marginally less uncomfortable than writing by hand) I’m going to use this blog, which at the last count had about ten followers, to talk about stuff that I really, really like.

Feel free to unfollow me now if this gets on your nerves, I admit right now that what I’m doing here is a completely and utterly self indulgent project, designed to make me feel happier, and I’m not thinking of my readers at all.

So, here goes. Seeing as I’m not at my best right now (I rated my self-care, joyfulness and energy levels at a 2 out of 10 earlier today) I’m going to cast my mind back to one of the places I always go to in my head when I do a meditation MP3 or just want to do that sigh-y thing I do when I think happy thoughts.

Cottesloe Beach, Western Australia,

Here’s a pic:

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I took this photo in February 2010, the day I left after three weeks in the sun and flew back home to Heathrow. Words can’t express how much I love this place and how much this image and the one I’m going to post in a bit (my laptop wallpaper for years) make me feel.

My brother Andy, his hubby Nigel and I all went to Cottesloe, so that I could get a last blast of sunshine before returning to a very, very cold England. I was going back to a cold flat, single life and work stress I’d managed to escape from for three long weeks. We walked down the seafront, bought some lunch and went to eat it in the shade, where we were besieged by huge seagulls that were in no mood to take no for an answer. Escaping the gulls with our toes intact, we wandered down onto the beach.

Cottesloe Beach s like no beach you’ll find in the UK. I took my sandals off to walk in the powdery sand, and didn’t anticipate just how hot it would be,. I hopped and danced along the sand, exclaiming “Ow! Ow!” every step, until I got to the water and just stood, gazing out over the ocean and waded in up to my calves in warm seawater. The water felt like lukewarm bath water. The sun was beating down relentlessly, and the sky was this amazing shade of blue that you only get to see occasionally over here. The sun was so intense and the sky so clear that there was a halo around it. I remember squinting up at it with the boys telling me off because I’d hurt my eyes if I looked at it. It was beautiful.

There was just enough breeze for it to be perfect. We’d had temperatures of 44 degrees in the time I’d been there, which I’d found a bit much, but we were in the early thirties that day, I think.

The three of us wandered slowly along the beach and back again, then I remember walking up the steps in my bare feet, brushing the sand off when I got to the top so that my shoes weren’t all scratchy. We stood at the top of the steps, looking out over the beach, looking for a bit of talent (well, I was single) and as I was there I decided I wanted to take that moment back home with me. I knew I was going home to ice and snow, dark nights and cold days. I took in every detail of that scene – the feeling of the breeze on my (slightly sunburned) skin, the heat of the sun on my face, the colour of the sky and that halo on the sun. I wanted to remember every bit of the relaxed feeling I had while we were standing there chilling out in the sunshine, before I went back, finished packing my suitcase and headed back to Perth airport, saying goodbye to the boys for I didn’t know how long.

I’m so glad I did – it’s still my ‘happy place’ and the place I go to in my head to get away from it all.

Here’s my old wallpaper…

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I’ll be back tomorrow with another positive post….

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2 thoughts on “Gratitude

  1. Donna says:

    Aaaah….I remember Cottesloe lovely beach! When I was in WA, it had been closed for 5 days because of a shark attack, and the day we went it was re-opened. Of course, we went in…but we did feel a bit vulnerable!!! Even though the shark was long gone! Love it – how did it feel to do your positive post? xx

    • Positive Sarah says:

      Ahhh….memories. No shark attacks when I was there, I think it was too hot for them to be arsed! It felt good writing that. Today’s is a bit different, just something that made me smile this afternoon…

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