Relentlessly Positive David Bowie


Relentlessly Positive David Bowie








I’ve never been cool.

OK, there might have been a point around 1996 when I was a bit of a Britpop Princess with a hairdo modelled on Justine Frischmann from Elastica and a habit of dropping things like, “I saw Oasis when they were still playing sports halls” into conversation, but a couple of years later I was back to being uncool again and that’s where I’ve stayed ever since.

What’s all this got to do with David Bowie? Well, I was at a tribute to the man himself last weekend (that’s them, above). The band were really good and I had to smile because Moley said casually to the bloke standing next to us (who was more middle aged than us and kept nodding off) “I saw the real thing three times“…

Whatever you think of Bowie, you can’t deny the fact that he epitomised cool. And you know why? Because he decided he wanted to. When he decided he wanted to reinvent himself, he didn’t care what anyone else did, and when the rest of the world was getting the platforms and flares on and stomping to glam rock, he’d already got bored and moved on, killed off his alter ego Ziggy Stardust and started another one.

Bowie was cool because he was fantastically talented, because he tapped into whatever was going on musically, put his spin on it and moved on before everyone got bored with it.



So, what’s this got to do with being positive?

Fake it til you make it

It’s all about attitude and I’ve been reading a lot about ‘fake it till you make it’ lately. It’s no secret that I don’t always feel confident. It’s hard to project an aura of inner confidence if you’re chubby and let’s face it, fat girls are not supposed to be cool unless they are supremely talented. I can throw a few words together and I wrote a book once but that’s as far as it goes. But what about positivity and faking it till you make it?

I could invent my own alter ego to hide behind, and write blogs, books and all sorts under a pseudonym? Or maybe the concept of being confident, cool or just OK in your own skin is something that you just get when you stop trying to be what other people want you to be?

I have a dream that one day I’ll design a range of amazing plus size clothes. I have so many ideas. I love the idea of being a bit of a rock chick/indie girl, designing clothes for women who actually LOVE fashion and don’t want to just buy whatever is left at the end of the rack in Next in a size 20. The thought of it gets me so excited – except I can’t sew and I don’t know how to make patterns. And I haven’t done any fashion drawing for years.I’ve always been obsessed with fashion and I sometimes wonder if I’ve just made it impossible for myself to really get into it by getting bigger? Because I don’t know if I have the confidence to stand out in a crowd and wear things that other people don’t understand?

Maybe one day I’ll invoke my inner Bowie and design my very own uber-cool alter ego who wears whatever she wants and doesn’t give a stuff. Until then, there’s always Fashion.


Positive Sarah


Positive Sarah

Berlin 2016

That’s me.

After getting up at 4 am last Monday, driving to Stansted, flying to Berlin, getting stressed about which train we needed to get on from the airport to Alexanderplatz, walking what felt like MILES around the station, getting a train into the city, finding the hotel, “What do you mean it’s next to the TV Tower? We’re standing next to the TV Tower and it’s NOT HERE!”

After finding the room, checking in, unpacking, finding some food and deciding to explore. By the time this picture was taken it was almost evening. Can you tell? I think I have the authentic “just stepped off a plane” look off to a tee, although I did have a shower before I went out. You can wash away plane diesel and airport stress sweat but you can’t wash away the ‘I’ve been up waaaay too long’ bags from under my eyes.

I’ll blog about the holiday later but I just wanted to re-introduce myself to my old subscribers. And say hello to the new ones. That’s me. I look like crap on that photo but as this blog is dedicated to reality and not Insta-filters, that’s what you’ve got.

Why am I restarting the blog? Well, I tried to set up a new one and then decided I had too many (remember the disastrous Juice Plus project?) and decided to repurpose this one. I wanted a blog that was real…an antidote to all the perfect lifestyle blogs and “Look at me” Instagram feeds that make you want to throw up a little bit. Everything is so aspirational, so perfect. Let’s instagram our food and be all Deliciously Ella. Not.

I don’t look like Deliciously Ella and I definitely don’t eat like her. I don’t have a Pinterest-ready house; I live in a housing association flat with a man who thinks being tidy is moving his skin pickings from the coffee table into his designated ‘skin tin’. Last time I attempted yoga I got cramp in my thighs and made the mistake of looking at myself in the mirror. It was like Bagpuss doing what cats do to clean themselves with one leg in the air.

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I’m not perfect. I don’t have one of these guru-style lives where I’m super positive all the time about everything. I’m not pretending to be that girl any more. Gabrielle Bernstein can keep her perfect hair while meditating, I’ll veg out, stare at Hollyoaks and switch my brain off, it’s got to have a similar effect.

If I blog my outfit of the day it won’t be a stylish ensemble from a designer shop. It’ll be a size 22 pair of leggings and a pretty dress from Simply Be that’s been worn so much it feels like a second skin. Because I’m sitting at my desk right now. I might let you see pictures of me dolled up if you like, too. I don’t get out to play very often and when I do go on a girls night out I usually end up necking paracetamol and codeine for two days afterwards because my wine tolerance has gone down (and my taste for the stuff hasn’t)

I think people will identify with all of the above. OK, Maybe not the  Bagpuss thing. That might just have been me.

This is a positive blog. but it’s a REAL one. Warts and all. I don’t actually have warts, but you know what I mean. I hope you enjoy it, it’s meant to be funny and possibly inspiring in a ‘yeah, I can be like her, it doesn’t require hours of meditating and a clean eating menu’. I’m not Gwyneth. This won’t be like GOOP. I’m probably a bit more like Beth Ditto without the fashion line…but I’m sure Beth has more fun anyway.

Are you in? Bring your friends, and hopefully I’ll make you laugh a bit.